4. Stand back

By the time the last double cab Ranger had backed out of the drive, it was time to get the agents through. I went with Shane in the end. Frayne and Bill were fans. Annette gave him a big tick. Marg knew him from Vidals days.

Obvious really.

But Shane was never going to be the problem.

I’d spent weeks being in charge of everything. I reckon I spent a good three days on the quarter wheatfield or half sea fog decision alone.

So hand over control? Let go?

James Cameron couldn’t create a world where this ended well.

“Oh well” said Di, having been here before, but still a bit too casual for my liking, “sometimes you’ve just got to stand back and let them do their job.”

Mmm, do you though? Really? That didn’t sound right.

If you stand back, who’s going to get in the way of things?

I graduated top of my class in the early nineties with a Masters in getting-in-my-own-way. Although it wasn’t part of the official syllabus, I’d managed to get in the way of every part of my life.

By the time I’d landed in midtown a few years back trying to pull off the Sony thing, I was well on my way to a doctorate. I’ve just paid Amex for the last of that skirmish, and the scars have more or less healed. Remind me about it one day. It's part of why you're reading this.

The other part, why we’re really here, is I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. With boundless enthusiasm I back myself totally, and block the exits completely.

I didn’t particularly want to sell my house, I’d been here since 2017. Not long. But it’s the longest I’ve been anywhere. Ever.

What I wanted more, was to be debt free. All of it. I needed to travel light. I needed room to move and a decent sale would let me do that. A not so decent result wouldn’t.

So here we are again. Back at the casino.